Susan 'Sue' White is a character in the British sitcom Green Wing, played by Michelle Gomez.
Overview
Sue White is the hospital's staff liaison officer, who describes her role as being "to soothe, to bathe, to listen to the worker's woes". However, in actuality she is a cruel and devious lunatic, seemingly intent on torturing her colleagues with her capricious demands and outrageous behaviour. Her bizarre whims include wearing elongated false arms, riding a camel round her office, dressing like a squirrel and refusing to speak any language other than "crow". Strangely - considering her chosen profession - she loathes human interaction, and often humiliates her visitors in order to prevent them from coming back. She is certain of her own beauty, particularly the gorgeousness of her hair, which she enjoys playing with seductively (she refers to her thick ponytail as "the squirrel").
Sue is obsessed with the handsome surgeon Mac, and has tried to win his affections by exposing his ex-girlfriend, who claimed he was the father of her four-year-old son, as a liar, and even trying to murder the woman he loves, Dr. Caroline Todd. Mac, however, loathes Sue, and in one episode sought a restraining order against her. Sue has a high degree of sexual confidence, but the nature of her sexuality is ambiguous; although she's primarily infatuated with Mac, she has also alluded to feeling sexual desire for Dr. Todd.
Her main hobbies are painting (at which she is very good), listening to funk music and stealing clothes from deceased patients.
Relationships
Caroline
Of all the staff, Sue hates Caroline the most. Her initial approaches are vaguely sexual, even managing to kiss her during the housewarming party. Caroline later becomes increasingly annoyed with her, even considering reporting her for "Meddling", and suing her for slander.
Caroline really attracts the wrath of Sue after she starts to fall in love with Mac. Sue goes to the extent of trying to murder her, failing to do so three times - first with a crossbow, second by trying to make her trip down a flight of stairs, and third via poison.
When Sue gets possession of the tape of Guy and Joanna having sex, she tries to make Guy break up their relationship, which works with only limited success. She also asks Angela to break up the relationship, but again fails. Sue however does manage to stop them by making herself pregnant with Mac's semen which she stole whilst he was in a coma, but she ends up giving birth to a lion. At the wedding, Sue is one of the bridesmaids.
Guy
Guy is the most confrontational character with Sue. This might have originated from their one night of passion which he once let slip in front of Caroline. Sue often teases him about it and he admitted it involved strap-on and presumably S&M/BDSM. Since then, Guy has often been the rudest person Sue has encountered. He once walked into her office, told her that he liked "fuck all" about her, and just left.
There have been a few times when Sue has had the upper hand in their relationship. She once bought him in a charity slave auction for £30, and made him wear a ginger wig to look like Mac. When she had possession of the tape of him and Joanna having sex, Sue demanded that Guy give her the secret of fire and try to break up Mac’s relationship with Caroline, but he failed.
Mac
Sue is totally obsessed with Mac, but he shows no such affection towards her. He will do anything to avoid her advances. Sue never gives up. She once took off all her clothes and waited for Mac to arrive into the office, but instead Alan entered. When Mac did enter, he insisted that Sue put her clothes back on.
During Mac’s coma, Sue was technically given the opportunity to do all the things she wished to do with Mac that he would not do if he was awake. She conducted her own wedding, and she even sexually assaulted him, stealing some of his semen so that she could make herself pregnant. She did, but in the end she gave birth to a lion.
After Mac married Caroline, Sue lowered her standards and got herself another boyfriend called Jeremy (played by Jeremy Sheffield). She hinted (indiscreetly) that he had a large penis.
Alan
Sue is often visited by Alan, mostly to complain about his badge being vandalised or to report some other form of abuse. Sue normally responds by ignoring his request and making him leave. Sue once set fire to her desk to make Alan leave, and accidentally set Alan's arm alight. Alan ended up running through the hospital setting fire to things as he went, and extinguishing his arm by diving into an occupied birthing pool.
In one deleted scene, Alan took his revenge on Sue by urinating in her office, claiming that he was, "Doing what you have been doing to me metaphorically all these years".
Joanna
Sue and Joanna fight their own little war between which of them is superior, particularly in the area of who does what in the hospital.
Their biggest scrap took place when a documentary crew came to film the hospital. Sue wanted to be in charge, but Joanna took charge, but not without Sue declaring Joanna was once a John, claiming "she's still got a jobby-jabber." When Sue managed to discover the tape of Joanna and Guy having sex, she used it as blackmail to put her in charge of the project, and forced Joanna to make her fly around the office.
They do, however, bond over the idea of scaring Alan and it suggests that they do get on at times to some degree and their annoyance with one another is just a power struggle.
Martin
Martin often asks for personal advice, such as how to make the patients like him. Once, Martin asked her help for finding clothes for Caroline's housewarming party. After rejecting the "dead box," Sue eventually gives him a shirt with spikes on the sleeves that light up under U.V light.
At one point, Martin was threatened by Guy when he gave him the tape of him and Joanna having sex. Martin told Sue about the threat and the tape, which Sue promptly stole from him.
Other relationships
Most of the staff try to avoid Sue. None of the human resources staff go to her office. In a deleted scene, Boyce came to see her, whilst she was sitting in a pram, seeing if it would support her baby. He later saw her, hoping she would provide information for the whereabouts of Alan and Joanna, for the price of one bushel. However, unable to find a bushel, he instead paid using a furlong of bras. Sue was unable to find any information however, so Boyce took the bras back.
Angela only came to see her about moving to another job. Sue only allowed her to do so providing she lied to Mac about Caroline having a disease, but Angela did not do so.
The only other staff member to meet her is Holly. Sue is very keen to make sure that Holly does not get together with Mac again, and managed to get her kicked out of the hospital by discovering that Mackenzie was not Mac's son. She even briefly made a truce with Caroline in order to get rid of Holly.